Just not that into Summer??

During my morning walk, I have realized that I’m just not that into Summer. Why is that? Its supposed to be fun in the sun. Beach time, pool time and best of all family time. Well in 1997 I was going to tenth grade and people started being killed every summer multiple deaths. Whether they were murders or accidents, each and every summer. The first one they found 3 blocks from my house, in the supposed nice neighborhood. A few years after my family returned from a vacation, my dad didn’t come on, to find that he moved out while we were gone. I started to associate summer with loss and tragedy. Summer accidents and murders still continue in my home town each year to this day.

I started to travel after graduating high school, however it was only a temporary escape from a very vivid reality. I continued to travel with my children and when my oldest turned six he started leaving me during the summer. The break is awesome but that unconditional love can not be replaced. My babies  are missed terribly in the summer and summer time fun brings a loss into my life. These are the days when I miss Jersey. I miss not being around my friends and family just to sit and look in each others face. Most summers I miss Jersey, I miss going to the shore every Sunday. I miss going to walk on the boardwalk. I miss my kids most of all. We all make changes to improve our lives, but there is always loss in those changes. It seems like we endure them, however we don’t always.

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