Everyday is still a constant challenge. You realize you may need a help mate in life however it’s hard to trust people. Hard to depend on others. It’s hard it truly is. Trusting some one as a friend and trusting some one as a roommate or partner are two different levels. Thru the last few years many have offered many I turned down. Not because of lack of friendship but because of lack trust. Lack of trusting someone with your full life not just part of it. I’ve mastered the trust with part of it side not the trust with all of it side. Most don’t meet that standard. I’ve realized that over this time of lack. I don’t trust anyone with my whole life, I’m not sure if I ever will.
I have a method of avoidance. Consistently avoiding fully opening up or fully disclosing. Only partial, always partial. I call it protecting my heart. However I recognize it’s toxic. Early childhood experiences from so called friends that betrayed me in many ways. I remember a distinct incident of a girl that came to my birthday party so they would have something to talk about. Through these incidents I made an unconscious choice on how to deal with people in the future. Don’t let them get too close. Moving around has driven me insane and hasn’t made my trust any better. So as I prepare to make more changes, I also prepare to open myself up to fully trusting someone.
When in doubt, shift back to what you know. What has worked. Just reinvent and update the process to fit your current goal.
These daily activities keep me moving forward during tough times.
More often than not we have a bunch of other things going on in life than the stuff we need to focus on to push forward.
These are my daily six steps to keep myself going.
1. Uplift yourself. You must always motivate yourself. Whatever picks up your spirit!
2.Work in your purpose.
Working in your purpose always gives you a good feeling.
3.Organize your finances.
Review and look for more ways to save, invest and make money.
*Don’t do this if it’s going to cause stress.
4.Take a Break! You deserve it!
5.Work towards your goal!
Another feel good activity, creating progress!
6. Celebrate your success!
Everyday we have a decision of how to start our day. Yesterday, on my day off, I woke up pissed off. Not wanting to let that energy consume my day. I completed a mini workout and turned on a book during my other morning routines. By the time I was ready to leave the house. I was recharged with positivity. My outlook to the day and said situation completely changed. It’s up to us to control our minds daily.
A book, a power mantra, a podcast, a song, whatever it is that will help you shift your mood. Use these tools to shift your mind. Don’t dwell on things you can’t control. Be aware of how things make you feel. As you practice this control you will gain more confidence in the goals you strive to achieve.
Keep pushing daily!!
I’m pretty sure I wrote a blog long ago saying time heals all wounds but we have to be open to healing.
So what happens if your not?
Nothing no progress, lack of focus, wasting time, loss of productivity. Is this worth holding a grudge? You slow yourself down worrying about someone or something that is not worried about you.
Heal your own wounds. Like a cat, lick your wounds, heal them. No help, no assistance, just you cleaning yourself up.
Then stand strong again. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people and work on crushing your goals!
Remember keep pushing daily!
I wouldn’t even know where to begin when we talk about the daily personal challenges. I gotten to the point where I don’t even want to talk about them anymore. Honestly, I try to ignore them. It’s hard though, because apart of me feels like ignoring some of these issues is ignoring my kids. When in reality I try to ignore the pettiness to keep the peace so I can see my kids. When my kids visit me on the weekends I have to split my time so he can see the cousins he wants to hang with or the friends he wants to play with.
I used to desire a little girl, I even wanted to adopt. Now, I don’t want anymore kids. Especially when I feel like I can’t take care of my own. I’ve ran from writing, yet maybe I need to get some of this stuff off of my chest. The burdens are heavy and no matter how much you try to ignore them they are still there.
Progress in pursuit of the goal sounds good, yet the sacrifices that have to be made tend to hurt.
She’s not a girly girl….
Have you ever wondered why she isn’t? Has she always been this way? Did she change? If so why?
So often we make statements about people and don’t value or care what’s in the root of it. We become who we are through experiences. Positive and negative experiences. Some mold us to be more optimistic, some make us closed off, and some give us drive.
I recently told my friend about an incident that happened to me in high school. Beginning of 10 the grade to be exact. About 10 guys tried to rape me. Thank God they were unsuccessful. This incident will effect me for the rest of my life and is part of the reason she’s not a girly girl. What hurt me the most is the same friend’s daughter came to here to tell her about an incident her best friend experienced over the weekend. The guys were successful. There is stuff that happens like this everyday and women are ashamed to talk about it. Many feel they were apart of the reason it happened to them. They weren’t smart, they were too provocative, they shouldn’t have been where they were, etc. It is never your fault ladies no matter what! Parents, teach your son’s this is unacceptable behavior ever. Parents also open the floor for your children to have honest conversation with you. The worst thing you can do is call your kid a liar. They may never want to be open with you again. Please keep in mind every experience molds us especially reactions to us exposing our truths.
No matter what, every experience effects us whether we like it or not. So it’s up to us make the best of it!
I just, have not felt like writing. I definitely have things to write about, alot. Honestly, it’s been a fight between what to tell and me figuring out what’s going on in my life. What’s the lesson and which direction am I being pushed.
Life is not only about pushing daily. It’s also about pushing in the right direction. There are times that life will slow us down in order for us to take a moment to become aware of what we have.
So over the past year or so I’ve been reflecting on work in progress, reviewing what needs to be done, and realizing my surroundings. Those around you are around for a reason. Maximize your relationships. You’ll be surprised how much you gain from helping others. I’ll be back to posting regularly soon. Until then reflect, review and realize your reality. And grow from there!
Upon the end of each year, many of us take a look back at the ending year and identify something we would like to change. Now we want to approach the goal we didn’t reach differently or we finally want to stop that bad habit. Or we finally want to start taking care of our health. Most of the goals I have reached or changes I have maintained didn’t start on any Jan 1st. They started when I made a conscious decision enough is enough. Why isn’t this done daily or weekly? Why must we wait for a new routine of messing up to fix it. This past year I went through many challenges or challenges went thru me. Thru those difficulties, I lost my stability, I lost my drive. I didn’t even know who I was looking at in the mirror. When you see things going wrong, change the course. When nothing is falling in place, change your position. When things go wrong look for the underlying blessing. Even in returning to the town I grew up in that I left 12 years ago. I had to find the blessing and purpose in being back home. I now realize I had to be hear I needed to regain my drive and passion. At times we wait until there is nothing left to make the change or the resolution. Don’t wait until Dec 31, 2019, to change what’s not working next year. Give it three strikes and it’s out. New direction, a new path, new strategy. I challenge you all to join me.
Don’t make resolutions, make changes today, next week and the week after until you find what works for you.
Happy New Year!
Wishing you extreme focus, love, and prosperity in 2019!
One step at a time is much easier said than done. Especially when you have responsibilities. You may have other people you need or have to take care of kids, parents, other loved ones, etc. You need to take your time and put things together one step at a time, however, needs never wait. When you need you usually need immediately. You need food to feed your kids, but you have to wait until payday because you paid all the bills. What do you do to fix the hunger now? You need to have somewhere for your children to sleep at night, but that can’t wait until a month after you start work or a couple of months after you clean up your credit. Where do you sleep tonight? That need is now and doesn’t wait for time.
Many try to encourage you not to worry, this is great and much appreciated. However, what homeless person doesn’t worry, what person that has lost everything doesn’t worry. What person that has minimal ways to get back and forth to a job in order to make things better, doesn’t worry. No one!
Rather than telling your friend not to worry. Support their businesses, their skills, their ideas. Send them clients, make referrals, help them put money in their pocket to make progress. Introduce them to someone that may be able to help expand their current efforts. This is what friends do. Offer options, recommend them for positions at your place of business, if you truly believe in them. Talk them up, help them expand their platform by word of mouth. Encourage them by telling someone else about the great things they do to help others. Please, please, please don’t tell your friend not to worry. If you haven’t done any of these things, you’re just as bad as the situation and you’re not making anything better.
Depression is not cured by telling someone to not be depressed. It is fixed by keeping someone from falling into the lul. Keeping their spirits up and there mind busy from worrying. A dormant mind breeds deep thoughts, in which a lot of worry and depression is birthed. Ask your depressed or worried friend to get out of the house with you. Ask them to go on a walk, ask them to go shopping with you. Get them out of routine and there mind out of worry.
The first 3 days, weeks, months, years
I’ve been told that I’m admired for relocating. That friends and family are oh so very proud of me. All while I’m screaming help on the inside. Have you been here?
Oh look at you! You’re doing it! Go girl! The one that may have hurt the worst, “I want to be like you when I grow up.” Said a childhood friend, I actually hoped it was in jest, but he made it clear he was very serious. Once again all while screaming on the inside, “HELP, I’m drowning here”
This experience of changing my surroundings completely. Leaving all of my family and moving somewhere I didn’t know anyone, blew my mind. Only one friend and a few of her friends. Wow, I’m still blown away to this day and we haven’t reached the 3-year mark, yet.
The first 3 days was honestly a blur. What I do remember, my oldest child and I pulled into Charlotte, NC and checked into the extended stay. Not only was it an extended stay it was one of the more ‘urban’ facilities. My son did not want to stay with me and actually refused. Well, he was blessed to have a backup plan in which he did not have to spend 6-8 weeks in the extended stay with mom. The hotel did not have any dishes, so I bought some. There was no way I was going into storage, besides my stuff wasn’t here yet anyway. The first 3 days I can honestly say wasn’t too bad. Other than, a pissy elevator and my friendly neighbors wondering where is she going with a suit on daily. To be continued…
Hustling or working, the game never changes just the service. I’ve learned to keep pushing no matter what!