Tag Archives: forgiveness

Not A Girly Girl

She’s not a girly girl….

Have you ever wondered why she isn’t? Has she always been this way? Did she change? If so why?

So often we make statements about people and don’t value or care what’s in the root of it. We become who we are through experiences. Positive and negative experiences. Some mold us to be more optimistic, some make us closed off, and some give us drive.

I recently told my friend about an incident that happened to me in high school. Beginning of 10 the grade to be exact. About 10 guys tried to rape me. Thank God they were unsuccessful. This incident will effect me for the rest of my life and is part of the reason she’s not a girly girl. What hurt me the most is the same friend’s daughter came to here to tell her about an incident her best friend experienced over the weekend. The guys were successful. There is stuff that happens like this everyday and women are ashamed to talk about it. Many feel they were apart of the reason it happened to them. They weren’t smart, they were too provocative, they shouldn’t have been where they were, etc. It is never your fault ladies no matter what! Parents, teach your son’s this is unacceptable behavior ever. Parents also open the floor for your children to have honest conversation with you. The worst thing you can do is call your kid a liar. They may never want to be open with you again. Please keep in mind every experience molds us especially reactions to us exposing our truths.
No matter what, every experience effects us whether we like it or not. So it’s up to us make the best of it!

Losses

Have you ever lost something and wasn’t sure how you were going to make out without it?

A little over a year ago. I moved from a 3 bd house to a 2 bd apt. Some friends helped me moved and I couldn’t have been more grateful. Being I had ALOT of things, we ended up putting a few things elsewhere, temporarily, until I was able to unpack and make room. Well I quickly realized there was a very important box in these things. All of my memories, all of my photo albums, yearbooks, my kids baby books, my parents wedding book, achievement books for me and my children, my degrees, etc. There were other things stored like games, toys and furniture, but this box was the one I was looking for in particular. Long story short, everything was lost. I was so distraught from losing these precious memories and things, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t even contain my emotions of anger and disappointment. I had literally lost over 30 something years of memories. I wished at that moment some of the stuff stayed at my moms. However, at that point there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I was distraught. In my sorrow I had to find a way to live without it. I started, by having a mental burial for the stuff, I started to imagine, it was lost in a fire, although that was not the case. I had to make up in my mind that these things are gone and they are never coming back. It was difficult and still till this day, I sometimes start to search for something around my home and realize it was lost in “the fire”. This keeps my mind from shifting to the why and cause of why it’s gone. The cause of why it’s gone, was out of my control and I can not change a thing about it.

Mental strength comes when you stretch your mind, Physical strength comes when you stretch your muscles, Spiritual strength comes when you stretch your faith.

Sometimes relationships with people need to be dealt with in the same manner. I’ve heard people freak out or feel uncomfortable when someone explains they had a mental burial for another person. Why is that? This is an action that removes this person from your mind. Which is in fact healing. You can also forgive, however, I think more of us have a bigger challenges with that. I didn’t remove the responsible party from my life, I forgave them, however the subject is still touchy and I don’t want to talk about it. See there was strength created in forgiving. There is strength in continuing that friendship and not cutting that person off. I realized as of lately. I crave being stronger, I crave these challenges that make me lose myself in forgiveness. Every time I’m in the situation I sulk, as most of us do, it’s a part of healing. I ask why am I here again. However, I come out stronger each time. Sometimes that strength comes with bruises, but what strength comes without bruises. Mental strength comes when you stretch your mind, Physical strength comes when you stretch your muscles, Spiritual strength comes when you stretch your faith. So emotional strength comes when you stretch your empathy, when you’re able to unconditionally forgive.  Bruises heal, even broken bones and hearts heal too. Battle wounds may hurt when they strike however they are awesome when they heal!

The battle you are going thru is not the end. You will not break and whatever you do break will heal. The healing will create endurance, perseverance, and an even stronger resilience for anything coming your way. Fight the good fight. Either bury or forgive and keep it moving. Your time is money and spending too much time pursuing, worrying, or sulking is a loss to you not those who affected you.

Say this with me: You’re forgiven, it’s forgotten and I’m moving on!