Tag Archives: Motivation

So Strong

You’re so strong

And what’s your point?
That is what most would like to know when they hear this comment. What is that supposed to mean?

This phrase is often given as a compliment. However, it usually isn’t received that way. The person that someone is usually saying this to has a lot on their plate. Many of times, they are struggling to see their way out of a situation or trying to overcome a burden. Instead of giving this compliment to your friend or family. How about you offer to pray for their continued strength. I have realized that people who usually receive this “comment” are carrying a burden they are struggling with. Most of the time, it’s not the time to say this. It’s time to offer help or support.

Your strong friends are usually the ones that will not ask for help no matter what. No matter how heavy that burden gets they will do their best to push through it. These are the friends to offer help or pray for or support in an unexpected way. I know these strong friends will also reject help this is why you find a way. Even if it is to just listen so they can release some of the burdens on their heart and mind.

I was reading or watching something recently I think it was a show. The friend told the person to just be there for the other friend. “Don’t say anything just sit with them.” You truly don’t know how important this is for people who are the ‘strong’ friend. Just sit with them, have dinner, have a drink, spend some time. This will mean more than you can even begin to understand.

Support those strong friends that support you because how do they endure if no one supports them the way they support others.

Relocation Part 2

Whew, I’m a long way from leaving home for 4 years, then coming back almost 4 years ago.

As I look back on the knowledge that I have gained through various wonderful and terrible experiences. I can ultimately say I am grateful. Today I am anyway. I had a conversation with my now podcast co-host that I was going to go through a period of depression when I returned home. She asked me, “Why did I think that?’. I responded as I had visually seen the future. 

Sidebar: Be careful what you speak into existence.  

About 2 months later I moved back home. Depression was immediate and tough times became tougher. Honestly speaking, I knew I couldn’t depend on people but I gave them a chance, anyway. This was not just one person, this was many. In the first 3 months, I went from already being homeless to also losing my children and my vehicle, as well. Devastated wasn’t the word, not even depressed, I was defeated. I was waving the white flag, just giving up. My family and friends tried to encourage me as much as they could, however, I felt like I had totally failed at life. I didn’t even want to serve my clients. Many of them wouldn’t take no for an answer. So I straightened up as much as I could and pushed forward. That first year really was a blur. I just tried to make myself happy in all the wrong ways. Through 4 places I stayed and 2 cars I acquired but didn’t have, I was still homeless. The first day I went back to work my transmission went. It took me a year to get that car fixed. 

The second-year was better than the first. I finally got my own place. A month in my own place I realized I was not in a good relationship and needed to get this out of my life. At the same time, in the back of my mind, I was scared to do things on my own and felt like I needed a person, a partner, a friend. I tried to push through unnecessary drama and still carried things on my own, I still felt like I needed him. When in reality, I didn’t. I was taking care of everything because I’m a superwoman. I really hate that, honestly, but I’ve always played that position even during the hardest of times.  It took me too long to get out. I grew during that year though. I grew mentally, physically, and spiritually. 

Through the even tougher times as I struggled to get back to me, I learned a lot. I assessed a lot. I asked myself why are you allowing these things in your life. I finally made up my mind to remove them in the third year. That was even more drama. However, on the other side of that relationship, I renewed my belief in myself. I realized that through all that mess, I looked for someone to save me and the only person I needed to save me was me. Relocating and removing myself from my environment created a different level of resilience that I’m not sure I was capable of before. 

So this year, I’m a superwoman for myself and my children. Year four, I’m dedicated to taking care of myself. I had to embrace that I am a super and will always be my own hero. I will be a superhero, for me!

Trust

Everyday is still a constant challenge. You realize you may need a help mate in life however it’s hard to trust people. Hard to depend on others. It’s hard it truly is. Trusting some one as a friend and trusting some one as a roommate or partner are two different levels. Thru the last few years many have offered many I turned down. Not because of lack of friendship but because of lack trust. Lack of trusting someone with your full life not just part of it. I’ve mastered the trust with part of it side not the trust with all of it side. Most don’t meet that standard. I’ve realized that over this time of lack. I don’t trust anyone with my whole life, I’m not sure if I ever will.
I have a method of avoidance. Consistently avoiding fully opening up or fully disclosing. Only partial,  always partial. I call it protecting my heart.  However I recognize it’s toxic.  Early childhood experiences from so called friends that betrayed me in many ways. I remember a distinct incident of a girl that came to my birthday party so they would have something to talk about. Through these incidents  I made an unconscious choice on how to deal with people in the future.  Don’t let them get too close.   Moving around has driven me insane and hasn’t made my trust any better.  So as I prepare to make more changes, I also prepare to open myself up to fully trusting someone.

Resources in the Valley

When in doubt, shift back to what you know. What has worked. Just reinvent and update the process to fit your current goal.

These daily activities keep me moving forward during tough times.
More often than not we have a bunch of other things going on in life than the stuff we need to focus on to push forward.

These are my daily six steps to keep myself going.

1. Uplift yourself.  You must always motivate yourself.  Whatever picks up your spirit!

2.Work in your purpose.
Working in your purpose always gives you a good feeling.

3.Organize your finances.
Review and look for more ways to save, invest and make money. 
*Don’t do this if it’s going to cause stress.

4.Take a Break! You deserve it!

5.Work towards your goal!
Another feel good activity, creating progress!

6. Celebrate your success!

Mindful choices

Everyday we have a decision  of how to start our day. Yesterday, on my day off, I woke up pissed off. Not wanting to let that energy consume my day.  I completed a mini workout and turned on a book during my other morning routines. By the time I was ready to leave the house.  I was recharged with positivity.  My outlook to the day and said situation completely changed.  It’s up to us to control our minds daily.
A book,  a power mantra, a podcast, a song,  whatever it is that will help you shift your mood. Use these tools to shift your mind.  Don’t dwell on things you can’t control.  Be aware of how things make you feel. As you practice this control you will gain more confidence in the goals you strive to achieve.

Keep pushing daily!!

Unloyal

That’s the one thing I asked. Don’t have me out here looking stupid.
This goes for all relationships.  Especially supposed friends and family.  I often reevaluate after big changes. So ending my 3 yr relationship has caused an analysis of relationships across the board.  Watch those closest to you as they are the ones that are in the best position to hurt you.  Create distance from any shady actions and watch from a distance. I wasn’t surprised at what I saw when I paid attention.

Why do we so often protect those that don’t protect us this goes for family as well. I believe in always being the bigger person. Yet the bigger person shouldn’t have to sacrifice or be humiliated on someone else’s behalf. At that point, it’s time to walk away from family, friendships, anyone disloyal.

What is loyalty? a strong feeling of support or allegiance. Why are we loyal to those who are not loyal to you. The fact that they don’t know what loyalty is, is not your problem. Honestly, those are the worst ones. Those that have had very few loyal to them so they are loyal to no one else other than themselves. They are the most toxic and need to be left alone. You are not the sacrifice. God said he would provide the sacrifice, so stop sacrificing yourself.

What is allegiance? loyalty or commitment of an individual to a group or cause.
So with that being said.  The breaking of loyalty or allegiance is reason enough for removal.  Even the slightest bit of disloyalty can’t be forgiven.  I fought so many battles that folks haven’t even heard of because you’re not disrespecting my loved ones to me ever. You can’t come to me in that fashion.  How can you kick someone’s back in and beg for forgiveness at the same time? It makes no sense.  It’s disloyal. How can you commit the ultimate disrespectful action and still come begging and crying? How? How can you keep secrets that got me out here looking stupid but supposedly you are one of my closest friends and or family? Please don’t walk side by side with me and you are contributing to the problem. We’re not doing that anymore. I rather walk alone than walk with snakes.

Everyone wants a pass. “Please look past my bs”….. HELL NO! So often folks complain about other folks instead of looking inside to figure out why are they allowing all of this to happen. Why haven’t you stepped up instead of blaming someone else? Because it’s easier to accuse than deal with yourself. I’m here to tell you through cutting people off, I also had to deal with myself and step up my standards. I shouldn’t allow people who are unloyal even in my presence. They may have been loyal before but they’re not loyal now, so distance is the fix.

Does time really heal all wounds?

I’m pretty sure I wrote a blog long ago saying time heals all wounds but we have to be open to healing.

So what happens if your not?

Nothing no progress, lack of focus, wasting time, loss of productivity.  Is this worth holding a grudge?  You slow yourself down worrying about someone or something that is not worried about you. 

Heal your own wounds.  Like a cat, lick your wounds, heal them. No help, no assistance, just you cleaning yourself up. 

Then stand strong again. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people and work on crushing your goals!

Remember keep pushing daily!

Don’t want to Talk

I wouldn’t even know where to begin when we talk about the daily personal challenges. I gotten to the point where I don’t even want to talk about them anymore. Honestly, I try to ignore them. It’s hard though, because apart of me feels like ignoring some of these issues is ignoring my kids. When in reality I try to ignore the pettiness to keep the peace so I can see my kids. When my kids visit me on the weekends I have to split my time so he can see the cousins he wants to hang with or the friends he wants to play with.
I used to desire a little girl, I even wanted to adopt. Now, I don’t want anymore kids. Especially when I feel like I can’t take care of my own. I’ve ran from writing, yet maybe I need to get some of this stuff off of my chest. The burdens are heavy and no matter how much you try to ignore them they are still there.
Progress in pursuit of the goal sounds good, yet the sacrifices that have to be made tend to hurt.

Not feeling it

I just, have not felt like writing. I definitely have things to write about, alot. Honestly, it’s been a fight between what to tell and me figuring out what’s going on in my life. What’s the lesson and which direction am I being pushed.
Life is not only about pushing daily. It’s also about pushing in the right direction. There are times that life will slow us down in order for us to take a moment to become aware of what we have.
So over the past year or so I’ve been reflecting on work in progress, reviewing what needs to be done, and realizing my surroundings. Those around you are around for a reason. Maximize your relationships. You’ll be surprised how much you gain from helping others. I’ll be back to posting regularly soon.  Until then reflect, review and realize your reality. And grow from there!

What does Faith feel like?

It feels like the motivation to get up in the morning and start work. It feels like a hot cup of coffee. It feels like peace knowing that you ’re working and doing things for the right reasons. It feels like the confidence that you’re going to complete your task. Confidence in knowing that the completion of the task will help you reach your goal. It feels like gratefulness. Being grateful for all of the things that you have and have been blessed with. Gratefulness for the things you worked so hard to receive or accomplish. Grateful for the ability, drive, and focus required. It feels like success when you’re almost to the finish line. It is faith, it makes you feel like the finish line is right up ahead, when it may actually not be in sight. Faith feels like when you have all of the energy and adrenaline you need as you begin your race. Faith feels good, confidence feels good, and believing in yourself feels great! Let’s get that feeling back!