Everyday is still a constant challenge. You realize you may need a help mate in life however it’s hard to trust people. Hard to depend on others. It’s hard it truly is. Trusting some one as a friend and trusting some one as a roommate or partner are two different levels. Thru the last few years many have offered many I turned down. Not because of lack of friendship but because of lack trust. Lack of trusting someone with your full life not just part of it. I’ve mastered the trust with part of it side not the trust with all of it side. Most don’t meet that standard. I’ve realized that over this time of lack. I don’t trust anyone with my whole life, I’m not sure if I ever will.
I have a method of avoidance. Consistently avoiding fully opening up or fully disclosing. Only partial, always partial. I call it protecting my heart. However I recognize it’s toxic. Early childhood experiences from so called friends that betrayed me in many ways. I remember a distinct incident of a girl that came to my birthday party so they would have something to talk about. Through these incidents I made an unconscious choice on how to deal with people in the future. Don’t let them get too close. Moving around has driven me insane and hasn’t made my trust any better. So as I prepare to make more changes, I also prepare to open myself up to fully trusting someone.
Tag Archives: black girl blogger
Resources in the Valley
When in doubt, shift back to what you know. What has worked. Just reinvent and update the process to fit your current goal.
These daily activities keep me moving forward during tough times.
More often than not we have a bunch of other things going on in life than the stuff we need to focus on to push forward.
These are my daily six steps to keep myself going.
1. Uplift yourself. You must always motivate yourself. Whatever picks up your spirit!
2.Work in your purpose.
Working in your purpose always gives you a good feeling.
3.Organize your finances.
Review and look for more ways to save, invest and make money.
*Don’t do this if it’s going to cause stress.
4.Take a Break! You deserve it!
5.Work towards your goal!
Another feel good activity, creating progress!
6. Celebrate your success!
Mindful choices
Everyday we have a decision of how to start our day. Yesterday, on my day off, I woke up pissed off. Not wanting to let that energy consume my day. I completed a mini workout and turned on a book during my other morning routines. By the time I was ready to leave the house. I was recharged with positivity. My outlook to the day and said situation completely changed. It’s up to us to control our minds daily.
A book, a power mantra, a podcast, a song, whatever it is that will help you shift your mood. Use these tools to shift your mind. Don’t dwell on things you can’t control. Be aware of how things make you feel. As you practice this control you will gain more confidence in the goals you strive to achieve.
Keep pushing daily!!
Don’t want to Talk
I wouldn’t even know where to begin when we talk about the daily personal challenges. I gotten to the point where I don’t even want to talk about them anymore. Honestly, I try to ignore them. It’s hard though, because apart of me feels like ignoring some of these issues is ignoring my kids. When in reality I try to ignore the pettiness to keep the peace so I can see my kids. When my kids visit me on the weekends I have to split my time so he can see the cousins he wants to hang with or the friends he wants to play with.
I used to desire a little girl, I even wanted to adopt. Now, I don’t want anymore kids. Especially when I feel like I can’t take care of my own. I’ve ran from writing, yet maybe I need to get some of this stuff off of my chest. The burdens are heavy and no matter how much you try to ignore them they are still there.
Progress in pursuit of the goal sounds good, yet the sacrifices that have to be made tend to hurt.
B. Marie's Thoughts 