Everyday is still a constant challenge. You realize you may need a help mate in life however it’s hard to trust people. Hard to depend on others. It’s hard it truly is. Trusting some one as a friend and trusting some one as a roommate or partner are two different levels. Thru the last few years many have offered many I turned down. Not because of lack of friendship but because of lack trust. Lack of trusting someone with your full life not just part of it. I’ve mastered the trust with part of it side not the trust with all of it side. Most don’t meet that standard. I’ve realized that over this time of lack. I don’t trust anyone with my whole life, I’m not sure if I ever will.
I have a method of avoidance. Consistently avoiding fully opening up or fully disclosing. Only partial, always partial. I call it protecting my heart. However I recognize it’s toxic. Early childhood experiences from so called friends that betrayed me in many ways. I remember a distinct incident of a girl that came to my birthday party so they would have something to talk about. Through these incidents I made an unconscious choice on how to deal with people in the future. Don’t let them get too close. Moving around has driven me insane and hasn’t made my trust any better. So as I prepare to make more changes, I also prepare to open myself up to fully trusting someone.
Tag Archives: struggle
Mindful choices
Everyday we have a decision of how to start our day. Yesterday, on my day off, I woke up pissed off. Not wanting to let that energy consume my day. I completed a mini workout and turned on a book during my other morning routines. By the time I was ready to leave the house. I was recharged with positivity. My outlook to the day and said situation completely changed. It’s up to us to control our minds daily.
A book, a power mantra, a podcast, a song, whatever it is that will help you shift your mood. Use these tools to shift your mind. Don’t dwell on things you can’t control. Be aware of how things make you feel. As you practice this control you will gain more confidence in the goals you strive to achieve.
Keep pushing daily!!
Does time really heal all wounds?
I’m pretty sure I wrote a blog long ago saying time heals all wounds but we have to be open to healing.
So what happens if your not?
Nothing no progress, lack of focus, wasting time, loss of productivity. Is this worth holding a grudge? You slow yourself down worrying about someone or something that is not worried about you.
Heal your own wounds. Like a cat, lick your wounds, heal them. No help, no assistance, just you cleaning yourself up.
Then stand strong again. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people and work on crushing your goals!
Remember keep pushing daily!
Not A Girly Girl
She’s not a girly girl….
Have you ever wondered why she isn’t? Has she always been this way? Did she change? If so why?
So often we make statements about people and don’t value or care what’s in the root of it. We become who we are through experiences. Positive and negative experiences. Some mold us to be more optimistic, some make us closed off, and some give us drive.
I recently told my friend about an incident that happened to me in high school. Beginning of 10 the grade to be exact. About 10 guys tried to rape me. Thank God they were unsuccessful. This incident will effect me for the rest of my life and is part of the reason she’s not a girly girl. What hurt me the most is the same friend’s daughter came to here to tell her about an incident her best friend experienced over the weekend. The guys were successful. There is stuff that happens like this everyday and women are ashamed to talk about it. Many feel they were apart of the reason it happened to them. They weren’t smart, they were too provocative, they shouldn’t have been where they were, etc. It is never your fault ladies no matter what! Parents, teach your son’s this is unacceptable behavior ever. Parents also open the floor for your children to have honest conversation with you. The worst thing you can do is call your kid a liar. They may never want to be open with you again. Please keep in mind every experience molds us especially reactions to us exposing our truths.
No matter what, every experience effects us whether we like it or not. So it’s up to us make the best of it!
Not feeling it
I just, have not felt like writing. I definitely have things to write about, alot. Honestly, it’s been a fight between what to tell and me figuring out what’s going on in my life. What’s the lesson and which direction am I being pushed.
Life is not only about pushing daily. It’s also about pushing in the right direction. There are times that life will slow us down in order for us to take a moment to become aware of what we have.
So over the past year or so I’ve been reflecting on work in progress, reviewing what needs to be done, and realizing my surroundings. Those around you are around for a reason. Maximize your relationships. You’ll be surprised how much you gain from helping others. I’ll be back to posting regularly soon. Until then reflect, review and realize your reality. And grow from there!
B. Marie's Thoughts 