Tag Archives: Inspirational

Finally, At Ease!

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I would be lying if I said that my mind is at ease right now. I’ve started a slight tailspin of being overwhelmed. It’s been like this for months now. Always around the beginning of the month. Inadequacy tries to creep in slowly but surely. 

As I fight these feelings away, first I work towards the goal. I  try again, and I redo what has been done. I reinvent what needs to be done. Perhaps I did it the wrong way the first time. Second, I review and make sure I left nothing undone. I make sure I returned all calls and messages. I made sure I didn’t delay my response or my response was received. Third, I mentally release. (You are worth it; you work hard; your work is not in vain; you’re a great mom; you’re beautiful; you are confident). I started to chant against whatever is weighing me down.

Chant your burdens away, remember life and death are in the power of your tongue. Speak positively over anything you feel negatively about. Constantly think about the good things and walk in the positive light, instead of the negative. Most importantly, break for a moment, mentally, socially, and physically. Break, even if it’s for 10 min. Break! Clear your mind. I like to go outside to the park, backyard, or anywhere, there are natural surroundings. They soothe me, they calm me. Finally At Ease. 020717

I wrote this in 2017 and I believe that this is still very accurate to this day. You must find a way through the weary times and self-encouragement is number one on the list. This past year I recovered from being physically, mentally, and spiritually broken. What did I do during my time of recovery I followed my creator. I created consistency in my life towards doing the things that I am here to fulfill. I worked towards goals that I should have never left on the back burner. I focused on myself and my growth so I can then in turn help my family and others around me. If you don’t work on yourself, your pot will be empty to feed or serve others. I focused on my podcast. Our first full year is almost complete!

You need resources and positive outlets to help you during times of overcoming. You need to sometimes get on the phone and laugh about nothing. Then there will also be times when you need someone to challenge your negative thoughts. You need someone to feed the hunger of that dream that you’ve been dreaming that is very reachable with the right support system around you. 

I want you to dream! I want you to know your dream is reachable! I want you to know everything in life you wish to have, you can with consistency and determination! I need to hear this often and I’m here to make sure you hear this too! 

Let’s reach our goals together!

Why God?

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Why am I stuck in this position around people that don’t want me around? Either, they don’t want me around or they are just trying to be nice to me. I’m thankful for the good deeds, however, I’m hurt. I’m hurt, knowing that although I’m in your space you’ll never desire me to be there.  God, that hurts bad. Why every time I’m trying to escape these situations I’m unsuccessful? Why am I stuck here? Why was I stuck there?  Why am I here now? God! I’m so tired. I’m so worn down. I’m loved out. I’m tired of loving on people. I’m tired of loving anyone. 

I’m drained. I’ve tried to spread agape love, wherever I go. Is this what I’m reaping? When I’m nice, people take advantage. When I love, people take advantage. When I give, people take advantage. I don’t want to be used anymore. I don’t want to feel anymore. I want my guard back up. I don’t want to be transparent. I don’t want to be honest. I don’t want to talk about real feelings. The real answers hurt, they hurt too bad. I’m tired of being the strong, never hurt girl. The girl that people see as a robot without feelings. I have feelings and they hurt. I have morals and standards. God, I’m tired, this whole mess is draining. Rejection by your loved ones, this hurts the most. I just want to be desired. I want to feel like a woman or even a young girl that a schoolboy has a crush on. I just want one human that’s not my kids to love me unconditionally. Just one, am I asking too much. I’m not strong, I’m not impenetrable, I’m soft. I’m kind, and I love everyone unconditionally. I’m weak. I can’t take it anymore, I really can’t. 

As I wrote this in August I wept one early morning. I was broken to the core, and I still am. In 2017, I lost my home. In 2018, I lost my kids and business. During these losses, I lost hope in everything, as I tried to continue to find my way out of the woods. I just wanted to stay and sit and just be lost. Just being surrounded by no one. I reached the point of comfort in the wilderness. I started to try to figure out my why; my purpose in going through the things I went thru. 

Now 4 years later I’m still recovering, I’m far from where I was but recovery is a process. I’ve been able to see and embrace the lessons I needed to learn. The crying out of “Why God?” was one of my many breaking points. I was lost and I didn’t know what to do. I was lost for years. Even in finding my way out and changing my surroundings, I still was lost for a very long time. My last Why God? was me asking God why did I find comfort in abuse in unnecessary relationships. Ones that don’t benefit me or aren’t true to what they put on to be. What was the comfort in abuse? Why couldn’t I shake these bad things out of my life? 

Sometimes it’s just the moment of asking why that can open you up to find out the real answers that will shift things in your life. Many times we need to stop and ask why. That why can lead you to a reevaluation and a cognizant purposeful shift. Life is a journey full of lessons. So what you are going thru is only temporary and is not a permanent place in your life. You are only passing thru. Remember you got this! Keep pushing daily! 

Check out my podcast Resources in the Valley for more great tidbits on getting thru the tough times in life and business! 

Scheduled Chaos

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Do we live in scheduled chaos?

Few can manipulate the constant demands placed by daily life, while most allow the pressure to slow them down. We need to approach chaos head-on with common sense, multi-tasking, and organizational classes to give life pointers. This would benefit our community to assist the dependent to reach their goals.

In our daily lives, we somehow find a way to normalize busyness. From waking up to start the day and possibly fitting in a workout or some other morning routine, before heading out to work. Staying at work for 8-10 hours and then returning home to start your evening activities. Between running children around, taking classes, and running errands. We have dinner and hope to get enough sleep to feel refreshed to do it again in the morning. Most may actually slightly desire chaos as they push harder with more against them. These people often work a regular FT job or 2 PTs and manage to find time to go to school or run another business on the side. Many still have families that they take care of at home in addition and they actually get bored when they don’t have that additional time occupied. Slightly addicted to the Chaos?

Is this chaos healthy or toxic? Is this a push toward the greater good or is it a stumbling block that slows us down? Perhaps this chaos separates the successful from the unsuccessful? Who’s to say what success is?  There are many that feel comfortable with the glass ceiling they placed above their own head. Anything unfamiliar stops their drive to higher ground. What if we empowered people to believe in themselves for real? Like you can do anything you want to do, or you don’t have to follow the framework of your neighbor. What if we taught refocus in times of stress? How much further would our community be as a whole? I believe we need to approach chaos head-on with common sense, multi-tasking, and organizational classes to give life pointers. I’m sure we all know a few that would benefit from common sense 101.

Relocation Part 2

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Whew, I’m a long way from leaving home for 4 years, then coming back almost 4 years ago.

As I look back on the knowledge that I have gained through various wonderful and terrible experiences. I can ultimately say I am grateful. Today I am anyway. I had a conversation with my now podcast co-host that I was going to go through a period of depression when I returned home. She asked me, “Why did I think that?’. I responded as I had visually seen the future. 

Sidebar: Be careful what you speak into existence.  

About 2 months later I moved back home. Depression was immediate and tough times became tougher. Honestly speaking, I knew I couldn’t depend on people but I gave them a chance, anyway. This was not just one person, this was many. In the first 3 months, I went from already being homeless to also losing my children and my vehicle, as well. Devastated wasn’t the word, not even depressed, I was defeated. I was waving the white flag, just giving up. My family and friends tried to encourage me as much as they could, however, I felt like I had totally failed at life. I didn’t even want to serve my clients. Many of them wouldn’t take no for an answer. So I straightened up as much as I could and pushed forward. That first year really was a blur. I just tried to make myself happy in all the wrong ways. Through 4 places I stayed and 2 cars I acquired but didn’t have, I was still homeless. The first day I went back to work my transmission went. It took me a year to get that car fixed. 

The second-year was better than the first. I finally got my own place. A month in my own place I realized I was not in a good relationship and needed to get this out of my life. At the same time, in the back of my mind, I was scared to do things on my own and felt like I needed a person, a partner, a friend. I tried to push through unnecessary drama and still carried things on my own, I still felt like I needed him. When in reality, I didn’t. I was taking care of everything because I’m a superwoman. I really hate that, honestly, but I’ve always played that position even during the hardest of times.  It took me too long to get out. I grew during that year though. I grew mentally, physically, and spiritually. 

Through the even tougher times as I struggled to get back to me, I learned a lot. I assessed a lot. I asked myself why are you allowing these things in your life. I finally made up my mind to remove them in the third year. That was even more drama. However, on the other side of that relationship, I renewed my belief in myself. I realized that through all that mess, I looked for someone to save me and the only person I needed to save me was me. Relocating and removing myself from my environment created a different level of resilience that I’m not sure I was capable of before. 

So this year, I’m a superwoman for myself and my children. Year four, I’m dedicated to taking care of myself. I had to embrace that I am a super and will always be my own hero. I will be a superhero, for me!

Resources in the Valley

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When in doubt, shift back to what you know. What has worked. Just reinvent and update the process to fit your current goal.

These daily activities keep me moving forward during tough times.
More often than not we have a bunch of other things going on in life than the stuff we need to focus on to push forward.

These are my daily six steps to keep myself going.

1. Uplift yourself.  You must always motivate yourself.  Whatever picks up your spirit!

2.Work in your purpose.
Working in your purpose always gives you a good feeling.

3.Organize your finances.
Review and look for more ways to save, invest and make money. 
*Don’t do this if it’s going to cause stress.

4.Take a Break! You deserve it!

5.Work towards your goal!
Another feel good activity, creating progress!

6. Celebrate your success!

Mindful choices

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Everyday we have a decision  of how to start our day. Yesterday, on my day off, I woke up pissed off. Not wanting to let that energy consume my day.  I completed a mini workout and turned on a book during my other morning routines. By the time I was ready to leave the house.  I was recharged with positivity.  My outlook to the day and said situation completely changed.  It’s up to us to control our minds daily.
A book,  a power mantra, a podcast, a song,  whatever it is that will help you shift your mood. Use these tools to shift your mind.  Don’t dwell on things you can’t control.  Be aware of how things make you feel. As you practice this control you will gain more confidence in the goals you strive to achieve.

Keep pushing daily!!

Relocation?

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The first 3 days, weeks, months, years

I’ve been told that I’m admired for relocating. That friends and family are oh so very proud of me. All while I’m screaming help on the inside. Have you been here?

Oh look at you! You’re doing it! Go girl! The one that may have hurt the worst, “I want to be like you when I grow up.”  Said a childhood friend, I actually hoped it was in jest, but he made it clear he was very serious. Once again all while screaming on the inside, “HELP, I’m drowning here”

This experience of changing my surroundings completely.  Leaving all of my family and moving somewhere I didn’t know anyone, blew my mind. Only one friend and a few of her friends. Wow, I’m still blown away to this day and we haven’t reached the 3-year mark, yet. 

The first 3 days was honestly a blur. What I do remember, my oldest child and I pulled into Charlotte, NC and checked into the extended stay. Not only was it an extended stay it was one of the more ‘urban’ facilities. My son did not want to stay with me and actually refused. Well, he was blessed to have a backup plan in which he did not have to spend 6-8 weeks in the extended stay with mom. The hotel did not have any dishes, so I bought some. There was no way I was going into storage, besides my stuff wasn’t here yet anyway. The first 3 days I can honestly say wasn’t too bad. Other than, a pissy elevator and my friendly neighbors wondering where is she going with a suit on daily.  To be continued…

Hustling or working, the game never changes just the service. I’ve learned to keep pushing no matter what! 

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What does Faith feel like?

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It feels like the motivation to get up in the morning and start work. It feels like a hot cup of coffee. It feels like peace knowing that you ’re working and doing things for the right reasons. It feels like the confidence that you’re going to complete your task. Confidence in knowing that the completion of the task will help you reach your goal. It feels like gratefulness. Being grateful for all of the things that you have and have been blessed with. Gratefulness for the things you worked so hard to receive or accomplish. Grateful for the ability, drive, and focus required. It feels like success when you’re almost to the finish line. It is faith, it makes you feel like the finish line is right up ahead, when it may actually not be in sight. Faith feels like when you have all of the energy and adrenaline you need as you begin your race. Faith feels good, confidence feels good, and believing in yourself feels great! Let’s get that feeling back!

“Listen to Me”

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Listen to Me, God said. Today I went on an interview, the interview went well until the last question. Then I bombed a test that I should have aced. “Listen to Me”, God said.

“I put this center in your heart years ago and you haven’t taken the first step? Why my child, why?”

Why do we constantly ignore God? Are we scared, fearful, or defeated before the race even started. We have to get over this fear! I included!

So the interview was with someone who found my resume on the internet. When I looked into the position, it intrigued me. So, I reached out and applied. I still was on the fence about even applying for this position at this point. The HR rep contacted me within the hour. We set up a telephone interview and it went very well. She then scheduled an on-site interview. So I started to do my research (homework)  on the company and it turned out the company was in the same industry as my center. When I arrived at the interview I had time to sit and wait in the lobby. While I waited, the security guard and I struck up a conversation. I found out that not only does the building house centers with the same clients, they also have available space! I didn’t get the job, but I got one more piece to my puzzle!

Be thankful for the pieces. I’m grateful for every piece I’m shown. I have many different projects going on however, the ones I receive pieces for  are the ones that are his will. His will falls into place perfectly! I remember many times I ignored the pieces and continued in the other direction. When I made these choices, I took the long way through the process because of my fear. When I reflected on the process I saw each decision clearly, I saw how each choice made my process longer. In spite of this,  each hurdle added character and strength, I don’t regret one lesson.

Unqualified

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I’m sure you have all applied for a job and received a rejection letter saying they have decided to pursue another candidate. At that moment, you felt unqualified. However, were you really unqualified or did someone’s book cover look better than yours?

There are many moments we go through in life where we may feel this way. Yet no matter how things look, we must remember the steps we take are intentional and each choice leads us to a specific position.

Have you been called to do something and you’re scared? What are you scared of? Do you feel unqualified? I feel like this often and it takes different regimens to get that feeling out of my head. If you have been led to do something, speak on something, or called to lead, you are qualified. You have been called to that position for a reason. The first reason is that you have the qualifications! Many times the feeling of being inadequate, or unqualified comes from fear or lack of confidence. We must bury that fear to move forward in life.

You are great, you are qualified! You are great, you are qualified!

We must constantly reassure ourselves that we are more than enough. So many people face this struggle daily. You would be surprised. Some people cover it up in clothes, some cover it up in degrees, some cover it up with cash, some cover it up with love, etc. Do you know that a tree with dead roots doesn’t grow? It doesn’t matter how big, pretty, green, etc. Once the roots are dead, it’s a goner. Don’t let your roots die. Materials are great, accolades are great, cash is great, however, if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Erase those negative feelings and thoughts! You are great, you are qualified! You are great, you are qualified!
Believe it in your mind and heart first!