I wouldn’t even know where to begin when we talk about the daily personal challenges. I gotten to the point where I don’t even want to talk about them anymore. Honestly, I try to ignore them. It’s hard though, because apart of me feels like ignoring some of these issues is ignoring my kids. When in reality I try to ignore the pettiness to keep the peace so I can see my kids. When my kids visit me on the weekends I have to split my time so he can see the cousins he wants to hang with or the friends he wants to play with.
I used to desire a little girl, I even wanted to adopt. Now, I don’t want anymore kids. Especially when I feel like I can’t take care of my own. I’ve ran from writing, yet maybe I need to get some of this stuff off of my chest. The burdens are heavy and no matter how much you try to ignore them they are still there.
Progress in pursuit of the goal sounds good, yet the sacrifices that have to be made tend to hurt.
Tag Archives: review
Resolutions, Nah…
Upon the end of each year, many of us take a look back at the ending year and identify something we would like to change. Now we want to approach the goal we didn’t reach differently or we finally want to stop that bad habit. Or we finally want to start taking care of our health. Most of the goals I have reached or changes I have maintained didn’t start on any Jan 1st. They started when I made a conscious decision enough is enough. Why isn’t this done daily or weekly? Why must we wait for a new routine of messing up to fix it. This past year I went through many challenges or challenges went thru me. Thru those difficulties, I lost my stability, I lost my drive. I didn’t even know who I was looking at in the mirror. When you see things going wrong, change the course. When nothing is falling in place, change your position. When things go wrong look for the underlying blessing. Even in returning to the town I grew up in that I left 12 years ago. I had to find the blessing and purpose in being back home. I now realize I had to be hear I needed to regain my drive and passion. At times we wait until there is nothing left to make the change or the resolution. Don’t wait until Dec 31, 2019, to change what’s not working next year. Give it three strikes and it’s out. New direction, a new path, new strategy. I challenge you all to join me.
Don’t make resolutions, make changes today, next week and the week after until you find what works for you.
Happy New Year!
Wishing you extreme focus, love, and prosperity in 2019!
What is your addiction…
What is your addiction to social media? Is it a high to see how much attention you can get? Is it a way to ease reality so you don’t have to focus on it? Being an 80’s baby, this epidemic is new and since I didn’t grow up in it, I tend to misunderstand the obsession. I even had to conform to build business traffic. Facebook is the number one way to advertise. Yet, when you scroll your timeline, you generally see four types of people. Attention seekers: people who want to post things that will make you inbox them or comment on their status. People who feel the need to post their whole daily routine. This also includes those that just have to post every single thing they spend money on, like dinners, clothing items, cars, etc.Uplifting folks: some of these folks want to appear holier than thou and some just want to encourage someone else. Comedians: where everything they post is funny, they want a good laugh and want you to have one to. Politicians: that want everyone to know their political and social stance. I try not to look at FB from a mental level, however every post shows me a mentality. A mental space someone may be in. It shows me something else that may be on your mind that you’re avoiding. It’s hard for me to not read between the lines. I see something other than comedy, or attention, or self- righteousness or political correctness. I see a need.
Desire, dedication & determination
Desire: to long or to hope for; to exhibit or feel desire for; to express a wish for.
Dedication: devoted to a cause, ideal, or purpose: given over to a particular purpose
Determination: firm or fixed intention to achieve desired end. ; the act of deciding definitely or firmly. Also, the result of such an act of decision.
These words represent three states of mind you have while pursuing your goals. These mindsets determine your approach and the work you will put towards them regardless of how soon you see results. When you start a business, you must work for a future return, not an immediate return. If you are looking for an immediate monetary return, be very careful. I’m not saying it can’t happen, I’m here to say that consistent actions towards the completion of a project or management of a business is required before you can truly enjoy the rewards. Work is required.
Desire is the first phase. I call this stage the ‘dream mode’. In this phase, you decide that you want to start the business. You start to talk about it and ask questions to find out what starting this business may entail. During this phase, you decide if this is going to be a dream or reality. You decide that you can do this, or you decide that you would love to do that one day. You tell yourself you’ll put it off until “I have time, when I have money, when I retire, etc.” The excuses roll in and this dream of starting this business becomes just that–a dream. Your dream becomes something you put off to the side and never work on. If you are currently in this phase, research methods of support, different streams of income to include, ways to start things for free, true professional costs, licenses, and insurance, etc. Make a plan and find a mentor. A good mentor is going to encourage you and help push you thru this process. A business consultant can do this as well. If you would like to work with me, check out http://www.blainelacar.com
Dedication is the second phase. During this phase, you consciously decide your next steps. You decide to dedicate your energy towards this cause. You do more research and you find more ways to get this business started. You decide that this can be done and you want to do what it takes to reach the goal. Your desire to reach this goal has expanded and changed into a passion to get this thing done. This is the phase where planning becomes action and you usually start to lay the foundation of the business. You have a need to reach success. You start working in the evenings towards your new business. You may even quit your day job to commit more time to this business and live off your savings. This phase is exhausting. You’re working and seeing some return, but you would like to grow bigger. With a bigger business comes more sacrifices and a greater investment. You definitely want to grow so you move to the next step.
Determination is phase three and this is the phase before things truly take off. This is the phase when you have worked so hard, you may start to become frustrated. You may feel like “maybe I should end this and move on to something else.” You feel like you are stuck. This phase is painful yet beautiful. Your tears of pain, passion, and confusion will turn into tears of joy. You gain a compassion to take your business to the next level. You find plans of action, investors, partners, and new products or services to include. During this phase, many become tired of working towards something without output. You’re investing more time and not making much profit. You may be taking a loss, you may be doing all the work, or you may be having trouble finding dedicated help. This is the phase where you should take the time to analyze. Make sure you are using all of your resources and delegating responsibility properly. Most importantly, keep working towards the goal. On the other side of determination is SUCCESS!
The 4 R’s
I often am asked, How do you do this or do it? I feel as though many really want to ask, how are you not breaking down? Breaking down is a mental pull, there are many things in my life that could have caused me to break down. I’ve chosen to not allow these things to do so. Every situation we find ourselves in, we have created or allowed one way or the other. It’s our jobs to get ourselves out of said situation. With the correct amount of willpower and focus, you can do so. The answer to the question is, I don’t allow myself. Sometimes, some straight up cold hard honesty to myself may be the medicine. Evaluation of choices I made, no one made them for me. Personally owning the error, the reward, the sacrifice, is the first step in creating a solution. Own it! Are you owning the choices you may have made to be placed in the position you are in? Have you owned it? My solutions always start with self. I always address what I did, to get me into said situation or position. This step is vital. This is where things change outlook, opinion, perception. This is where breaking down is removed. If you can accept what you did, you also have the power to change what you may have accepted.
Shift your focus, I know you have heard this many times before, however, focusing on the wrong things tends to land us where we don’t want to be. This is why rest is needed, the mind needs to calm down and clear out. This is where shifting begins, a calm and clear mind. Your mind in this state will allow you to adjust your focus, are you focused on progress or regress. This is a big question to ask ourselves daily, as fun is easy. One of my recipes to my day is 70% work, 30% fun. If 70% of my day has already been drenched in work than I could stand to have some fun. I keep it closer to 85%, the percentage is up to you. What can you handle? Many of my days are 100% work. I wake up working and I go to sleep working, I run errands, during my 20-30 minute break and then I’m right back to it. I work during lunch, I work during breakfast and dinner. I work in the car, I work during rest stops. I feel that I can constantly stimulate my mind in some fashion. Whatever your belief may be or your regimen may don’t allow anything or anybody to stifle it. When we add things to our lives, they should enhance our plans, they should push us harder, they should challenge us to move more confidently, and expand your capacity. Those additions will never be distractions as they are keeping you on task and focused.
Many people with a loving heart tend to take on the issues of others when in reality, it’s not your concern. If you are one of these people, I challenge you along with myself to break away from any situations that are not pushing you the way you are pushing them. Pull yourself away from things that make you feel inadequate. You are adequate, you have a plan, you have a destiny and your running towards, push those things out of your way. Encourage others and don’t get caught up, lift up others and don’t get pulled in, love on others and don’t wait to be loved back. These things require mental strength that you may have but we all get sidetracked.
Rest your mind, review your strategy, reshift your focus, and REVIVE yourself!
B. Marie's Thoughts 