Tag Archives: Compromise

Losses

Brooke's Thoughts, Matters of the Heart, Rough Times, , ,

Have you ever lost something and wasn’t sure how you were going to make out without it?

A little over a year ago. I moved from a 3 bd house to a 2 bd apt. Some friends helped me moved and I couldn’t have been more grateful. Being I had ALOT of things, we ended up putting a few things elsewhere, temporarily, until I was able to unpack and make room. Well I quickly realized there was a very important box in these things. All of my memories, all of my photo albums, yearbooks, my kids baby books, my parents wedding book, achievement books for me and my children, my degrees, etc. There were other things stored like games, toys and furniture, but this box was the one I was looking for in particular. Long story short, everything was lost. I was so distraught from losing these precious memories and things, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t even contain my emotions of anger and disappointment. I had literally lost over 30 something years of memories. I wished at that moment some of the stuff stayed at my moms. However, at that point there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I was distraught. In my sorrow I had to find a way to live without it. I started, by having a mental burial for the stuff, I started to imagine, it was lost in a fire, although that was not the case. I had to make up in my mind that these things are gone and they are never coming back. It was difficult and still till this day, I sometimes start to search for something around my home and realize it was lost in “the fire”. This keeps my mind from shifting to the why and cause of why it’s gone. The cause of why it’s gone, was out of my control and I can not change a thing about it.

Mental strength comes when you stretch your mind, Physical strength comes when you stretch your muscles, Spiritual strength comes when you stretch your faith.

Sometimes relationships with people need to be dealt with in the same manner. I’ve heard people freak out or feel uncomfortable when someone explains they had a mental burial for another person. Why is that? This is an action that removes this person from your mind. Which is in fact healing. You can also forgive, however, I think more of us have a bigger challenges with that. I didn’t remove the responsible party from my life, I forgave them, however the subject is still touchy and I don’t want to talk about it. See there was strength created in forgiving. There is strength in continuing that friendship and not cutting that person off. I realized as of lately. I crave being stronger, I crave these challenges that make me lose myself in forgiveness. Every time I’m in the situation I sulk, as most of us do, it’s a part of healing. I ask why am I here again. However, I come out stronger each time. Sometimes that strength comes with bruises, but what strength comes without bruises. Mental strength comes when you stretch your mind, Physical strength comes when you stretch your muscles, Spiritual strength comes when you stretch your faith. So emotional strength comes when you stretch your empathy, when you’re able to unconditionally forgive.  Bruises heal, even broken bones and hearts heal too. Battle wounds may hurt when they strike however they are awesome when they heal!

The battle you are going thru is not the end. You will not break and whatever you do break will heal. The healing will create endurance, perseverance, and an even stronger resilience for anything coming your way. Fight the good fight. Either bury or forgive and keep it moving. Your time is money and spending too much time pursuing, worrying, or sulking is a loss to you not those who affected you.

Say this with me: You’re forgiven, it’s forgotten and I’m moving on!

Mmm….

Brooke's Thoughts, Matters of the Heart, , , , ,

Love, respect and compromise.

Several conversations I’ve had recently prompted this post. Our culture attempts to follow biblical ways of relational pursuits in which a man should pursue a woman. However, it seems this is not what society follows. Many woman are sitting around waiting for a man to step up and approach a relationship by loving us when in reality we may have someone in love with us in close proximity. Trying to show us as we ignore them. As we all grow older, some men may decide maybe I should say something. Why does it take so long for this to happen? Why are more and more men insecure? How have we caused this? Why are we impatient with the process? This evening I watched a video that spoke on love and respect. Women desire to be loved while men desire to be respected. Whoa! I can see my single independent women saying. Respect what? Well, ladies how many women want a man they can’t respect?  I know I sure don’t and I want my sons to see me with someone I can respect. I didn’t remove that we need to be loved and a man should effectively show his woman love. Ladies we must effectively do the same. We have to respect that man in all lights, when he is up, when he is down, when we are happy or mad.  Man desires to be respected and as the leaders of our families and homes, they should.  I was also asked once why do I always have stalkers. Gentleman that just won’t leave me alone, no matter what. These guys are strictly friends and they have been friend zoned. However they find a tax question, they find a financial question, they find ways to send business my way. Why is that? I respected them, no matter how dirty or wrong they were in our past relationship. There was never a need for me to disrespect. One of my sayings, you have to let a man be a man. There are ways to shut people down with out being rude, disrespectful, or hurting feelings. Its just not necessary to me. I know that I tend to have more friends because I don’t believe in hurting even the meanest of folks feelings. Ladies ask, did you tell them about themselves? I reply, for what? People aren’t receptive to conflict. Once a voice raises, words tend to be blocked out. So why waste your breath and energy being in a huff? Is there a right way? Is there a wrong way? No not at all, there is your preference, your choice. If you choose to pursue relationships ladies great, you may truly find what is meant for you. If not, I don’t believe that you won’t find it either. I choose to be a friend and draw firm lines with people that do not have a chance. Do I need to be rude? No. Do I need to block you? No. How can you Love One Another by spreading hate and hurting feelings? I personally feel it is unnecessary and makes no gains, IMO. I may be slightly more annoyed, but life is annoying. We learn to compromise with life.  Why do we have such difficulty compromising in relationships?

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