Distance made the picture clearer

The further you step away from something the clearer you can see. The blessing here lies in walking away.  As I walk away I see more reasons why I should have a long time ago.  Why did I allow such things? What did I believe was wrong with me? I already knew abuse was not love, but I still continued to allow it.  Some men truly believe that violence will control a woman and some women fall for it.  I was her, when I thought I would never be her.  Truthfully I was more scared than I was in love.  I knew certain nights I wasn’t going to get sleep and I would mentally prepare myself for the bullshit. Weather, I was going to be woken out of my sleep to argue fight or cater to him.  Either way, I wasn’t sleeping.
Why did I think I needed someone I was supporting?
Ups were high and the lows were low.  Everything we’re not supposed to be doing always feels great.
It didn’t feel great when I’m around my friends and I’m the only one without my man.  It didn’t feel good when we would go anywhere in our hometown and he would find an excuse to leave.
It definitely didn’t feel good being smacked because my landlord called me after 9. Smacked choked, or yelled at ‘just cause’ in reality.  A lot of those incidents were just cause.  I was a fool.  Foolishly, supposedly in love. 
Love doesn’t hurt,  love doesn’t make you lower your standards, you don’t have to endure your confidence being diminished.
Love is truly patient,  love is kind,  it is not selfish.  Love does not cost anything.  Love is understanding.  Love is never disrespectful. 

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