Patience is a virtue is much deeper than the surface value we often give this statement. Patience is a skill, that you can teach your self to have and that many of us consistently try to have.  The definition of patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.  Patience is a desired trait that can assist you in reaching your full potential.  Patience is a mastery skill that all should learn to master as you truly never know what to expect each day. The definition of Virtue is behavior showing high moral standards. This definition shows why it is such a virtue, this a higher level of standards that you have implemented in your life. A high degree of standard that does not allow you stoop to the level of others, to get a point across. This standard is expressed in all you do. Are you virtuous in all you do? Do you hold your self to this high moral standard daily?   I believe many of us want to be virtuous always and may be virtuous most of the time, but not always. Another needed trait on the road to being virtuous is perseverance. In order to remain patient and virtuous, perseverance is needed.

Perseverance will help you complete things and push to the next level. Perseverance keeps you on task and steers your mind the direction it should be going. The definition of perseverance is steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.  Many of us start with intent to preserver through a project.  We start of working relentlessly, then we don’t get the results we expect. The first time if your truly committed it doesn’t stop you, you keep going, then you don’t get the results you expect twice. Uh oh, this is where we slow down. Doubt starts to seep into  our minds, we start to wonder why are we doing this.  When this happens, have you ever asked yourself what is another way?  How many plans do you have? Do you have plans A and B? Or do you have plans A-Z? Perseverance helps us get thru this rut. It challenges our minds to stop looking at the delay and look at the other 24 ways we have to accomplish this task. Have you ever felt so defeated and when you got over it you moved onto the next plan and that was the one that worked. It so often we almost get to the finish line, to become weary. Do you run? Have you ever ran or walked a marathon? What was the hardest part? The end, right! Yes!! I know, me too! That last lap or that last .5 mile.

I challenge you today to look at the finish line when you become weary, take a piece of paper and write down all you have accomplished towards this goal. Now ask yourself, how close to the finish line are you? And is all of your hard work and successes worth you dropping them on the ground and walking away? I hope not, lets get up dust our selves off and reach the goal!

                         When life give you lemons, we’re supposed to do make lemonade right? I’ve noticed that there are actually a lot of people who attempt to live this out and they try to make the best out of everything. If you are one of these people congratulations! You are one of few, we all have a point where we get weak. How do you fix this?

                           Many of us attempt to use words to present an image that we are focused or on the right path, when in reality we haven’t done anything today to make tomorrow better. Words like Boss, Focused, Working, Busy, Moving, Motivated. Are you really working? What are you working on? What did you do today that is going to change tomorrow and how? I am  guilty of this too. What is your measure of progress? I personally measure progress by the amount of work that I have completed today. It may not be a pay day, but I have completed something that will make either tomorrow better or make tomorrow easier or will change tomorrow based on what was put into place today. What does the word Boss mean to you? The definition of boss is “one that makes decisions or exercises authority.”  Are you making decisions or is someone else making them for you? What do you have authority over? If you don’t fit the definition that is okay, you have identified an area of growth for yourself. What does the word focus mean to you? The definition of focus is the center of interest or activity. What is the center of your interest? Answer honestly, no one is listening.  Are you focused on the right things? Once again if you’re not it’s okay, you have identified another area of possible growth.  If you’re motivated, what are you motivated to do, is it something that will move your life in the direction of your choosing Some of the synonyms of motivated are inspired, driven, encouraged.  The definition of motivate is to stimulate someone’s interest in or enthusiasm to do something. What are you honestly enthusiastic about? How will the area or your life that you are enthusiastic about improve your life or push you towards your goal. Busy is another one I see, however the definition of busy is to keep occupied. This does not mean that being busy is progressive. If your busy, are you busy making forward motion in your life. Or are you busy saying you’re busy? What are you working towards? Or are you busy working for someone else?

                     Social media has given us a false outlook on the life of others. Giving false images and outlooks of the life of others. Even the person making over 6 figures is living check to check. The amount of people not living check to check are less than 15% of the population and that is just an estimate. These folks don’t live that way because of discipline, the choices that they have chosen to make in their finances. Not because they have loads of money to spend. Do you have a savings plan? Do you have a retirement plan? Do you have an emergency plan? I know and can totally understand it is very hard to come up with those kinds of plans and still make sure the bills are paid. However, have you thought about your standard of living are you living with the bare minimum probably not. If you have bare minimum in some areas I’m sure you have excess in others. Everyone has an area in life they over spend. Whether it is a habit like cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs? Or shopping and luxury dinners? Each household and member has a habit? What is yours and are you willing to eliminate it to open up some extra funds for spending? How much is that habit worth to you? I challenge each person that reads this blog to count your habit funds for the past year. Pull your 2016 bank statement and filter on the item that you can eliminate. Honestly, this could be anything that you do in excess. Everything should be done in moderation. That is how you keep a balanced life.

                      Eve Within recently wrote about life being one happy mess, check out her blog (https://evewithin.com/2017/01/07/life-is-one-big-happy-mess/ ). I also read in a book another revelation of life being about cleaning up the messes and being happy with that. How do you feel about cleaning up the messes? Do they overwhelm you or do you look at them as a challenge? This is why I use the word challenge instead of problem or issue. A challenge is a chance for us to be victorious, like a contest. Why do we refer to life lessons as problems? A problem is a chance to fix something or adjust something. A problem is not defeat or a failure, it is a chance to adjust your method or perspective. Take a moment and look at whats going on, assess it, why did it happen, could it have been avoided, can you change it. The last question is the most important question and sometimes needs to be the first question you ask yourself.  I list this question last because as humans we are curious, most of us have a natural curiosity to know the answer to the rest of those questions, first. This question tells you if this your challenge. So, can you change it? If not, what more can you do? Nothing and that is what you should do, absolutely nothing. Something you can’t change is now totally out of your control. Oh ok, so you can change it. Ok, are you willing to do what needs to be done to change it? How much is the value? Choices and options you need to make, not anyone else. Not depending on what someone else needs to do, only depending on what you are willing to do. Have you extended yourself completely? If you haven’t, will you? If you have, then you know what you need to do. Nothing!?!?  

                  We desire to reach goals and have certain things in life, but we need to place a realistic value on it as well. What is the value of your success?

What is your definition of success? Is the question that was asked that sparked this blog. Have you ever asked yourself this? I have and it lead to recent string of changes. I believe many of us go in to life believing that success is based on money. Being a financial consultant, I see the spending habits of many people on different levels of income. Guess what? Most of us are living check to check regardless of what we make.

Do you value the quantity of what is in your pocket or do you value your quality of life? What is more important to you? The definition of success is the achievement of something desired, planed or attempted. What do you desire, what have you planned or attempted? If you have failed at something this is your First Action In Learning, not the end, so try again. Many people that have had tremendous success did not achieve it on the first try nor their tenth try.  My favorite fail acronym, puts it all into perspective, Flawlessly Ascending In Life. How can you ascend without failure, mistakes, bumps in the road, life’s lessons?

Your success is based on your perspective not the perspective of others. Does your family or the money matter more to you? My reasoning was always that I make the money for my family. I’m here at this job for 12 hours for my children. I’m seeking more responsibility at work, to gain a promotion, for more money for my family. If you find yourself questioning your life, you may want to ask yourself this question and get your life boat steering in the right direction. What makes you happy?

Wishing you all lots of success and hopefully this blog has given you a moment of reflection that shows you the many ways you have already been successful!

Being optimistic does not breed a false reality. Being optimistic should take that bad thing that happened and turn it into a positive. For example, single parents, instead of focusing on the fact that raising children is hard to do on your own. Focus on the fact that this journey has strengthened you as a person. This position has enabled you to see that you are capable of some things you thought you may never be able to do on your own. Being optimistic should not create a false sense of reality that being a single parent is easy, it just isn’t. Here are the steps I take when turning a negative into a positive.

First things first, take a break, calm down and breathe. I like to have a cup of tea or workout. Then, think the situation all the way through, the circumstances, the outcomes, the other outcomes or events that happened due to this issue. Find one positive thing. Ask yourself, if this thing would have happened without this problem. Probably not. Was the issue worth changing your mindset, or going thru so you can get something done, or going thru to force you to make a step you have been thinking about but scared to make.

I love to refer to problems as challenges or hurdles. Challenges and hurdles toughen you, they thicken your skin, they sharpen your mind. I don’t see anything wrong with that. Do you? So the next time you are going thru something, take these steps. I hope it can make your day positive instead of negative!

The world we live in demands something from us almost every moment of the day. Many of us start with a FT job that takes 40 hours plus each week away from our ‘time’. Then if you have children they have extra curricular activities, more time away from home to run around. When do we spend family time? Is Sunday the only day? Even Sunday’s are filled with plans and errands to complete in preparation of the upcoming week. However? How do you make time for the family outside of your home that you don’t see everyday? You make time. This is key in all relationships, whether family or friend. I had a conversation last night with someone who told me they haven’t been home to see there parents in over two years and the death of a close friend made them realize the priority.  We hear every day that tomorrow isn’t promised. Do we treat each day in such a manner? No we don’t, we start the should have, would have, could have blues. Which is not healthy, because the past is unchangeable. I like to start off my day by asking myself three questions.

1. Who are you? “In order to reach what you want, you must be who you want”
2. What are you doing today to make tomorrow better?
3. Have you loved on your loved ones?

This regimen is so important because it refocuses my mind daily to steer it towards progress and success. How do you make time for people that are more important than money?

The can do attitude is a constant triumph of changing the negative to the positive. Every morning you have a choice of how your day will go. Using your ability to decide how you are going to react to each situation is vital. I want you to take a moment and think of the one thing you are procrastinating on working on. Have you done every single thing you can do to work towards this project? I hope your not listing the reasons why you can’t do it. That can be detrimental to success. That action builds bricks to a wall you are creating to block yourself. Every time I find myself in a negative situation, I find the good in the situation. Remember everything happens for a reason. Yes, that is one of my favorite sayings. Recently, I was in a car accident, a hit and run. At the time I was driving a 99 Honda Accord, that accident left the trunk pushed in. I was driving this car back and forth from NC to NJ and was unable to do so anymore with the damage. This horrible situation which occurred during another horrible situation had me truly down. It took about four months for me to make this situation into a good one. I realized I was able to afford a new car that I was not interested in buying at all. We really did need a newer car traveling nine hours home at least twice a year. I would have kept on driving that old car if it wasn’t for that bad situation. I didn’t receive any money from the accident or anything because of my minimal coverage. When I realized I really needed to bite the bullet and buy the car. I realized this accident helped place me in this mind set. Without it I would have still been content with the 99 Accord. We have to remember things shift to cause discomfort to push you to a new level, a new place, a new mindset. Realize that discomfort is pushing you to a new level and make the leap of faith. Adopt that Can Do Attitude! Where there is a will there is a way!

I’m Brooke and I decided to start a blog to reflect on many of the daily challenges single moms conquer on  a daily basis. Romans 8:37 reads, “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” Remember daily when things get thick and you are unable to see an end that you can do it! My blog will often be religious based. I love people and believe we all need to love people and each other to make progress in the world today. I teach my children to love others even those that have not loved them. I constantly challenge them to look at the big picture in all situations. I have two sons, one entering kindergarten and one entering high school. I am very proud of my freshman as he makes me proud by the mature choices he makes. Him and I recently read a article about a young lady who did not have her father in her life the same way he doesn’t. The young ladies father started to be a great father to her half sister that he lived with and instead of this young lady being upset and mad, she was happy that at least her sister had a good dad. After reading this article my son was very happy and stated he is happy for his little brother as well. He told me that I often worry and I don’t have to because he has had excellent examples himself and although they may not be his father, he is grateful. My son helped me forgive and move on, our children have such a different perspective in life, we have to take a moment and stop worrying to reflect on the good.  Single moms we are often upset and disgruntled that our children may not have their father in their life or the father may not spend as much time as we or the children would like. I challenge you all to remember today that everything happens for a reason, Eccl 3: 1-15. You and your children are more than conquerors and will conquer the world with a little bit of faith. Remember, “Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated”
a quote from Coretta Scott King. We must rise above our daily challenges and forgive! Who are you going to forgive today?

Please comment below and let me know, who you are going to forgive and how.

Sources:

King James transalation of the Bible                                                  http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/corettasco141009.html