December 30, 2025                           

  If I focus on all that was wrong right now what I have went thru. I would really be in tears and possibly a mental breakdown. However, God’s pulled me through things like this before so I keep my head high and keep my attitude positive. I try to focus on the things that I can control however, it’s hard. It’s challenging when you have more people around you just to be around, then to actually support you. It’s hard when you have more people depending on you to support them, then even caring to support you. So I start to question things, I start to question the people that are around, I analyze people’s purpose. When you get to this point, where you don’t want to talk anymore. You really don’t want anyone around you because I’m trying to figure out why are you really here. You know, I’ve had so many people tell me what type of friend they are and you can depend on me and things like that but when it really boils down to it I can’t. That hurts. It hurts because I am the friend that you can depend on. I am the person who cares about everybody else. I see my kids they care about their friends. How do I tell them to care but not too much. Care for yourself and support others but in reason.  Don’t exhaust yourself, maintain your own mental health. How do you do that, how do you show them that without shutting all the way down. There have been so many times I want to shut all the way down. These last couple of months have definitely been one of them. It’s sad cuz I can understand people that do crazy s*** and the reason behind it. Sometimes it is the easier way out. So what do you do, how do you move on. You try to find a way to some sort of peace, some sort of positivity, something to be thankful for. And hope the day goes by well. 🤷🏾‍♀️