Tag Archives: Valley

Real Tears

Rough Times, , , , ,

December 30, 2025                           

  If I focus on all that was wrong right now what I have went thru. I would really be in tears and possibly a mental breakdown. However, God’s pulled me through things like this before so I keep my head high and keep my attitude positive. I try to focus on the things that I can control however, it’s hard. It’s challenging when you have more people around you just to be around, then to actually support you. It’s hard when you have more people depending on you to support them, then even caring to support you. So I start to question things, I start to question the people that are around, I analyze people’s purpose. When you get to this point, where you don’t want to talk anymore. You really don’t want anyone around you because I’m trying to figure out why are you really here. You know, I’ve had so many people tell me what type of friend they are and you can depend on me and things like that but when it really boils down to it I can’t. That hurts. It hurts because I am the friend that you can depend on. I am the person who cares about everybody else. I see my kids they care about their friends. How do I tell them to care but not too much. Care for yourself and support others but in reason.  Don’t exhaust yourself, maintain your own mental health. How do you do that, how do you show them that without shutting all the way down. There have been so many times I want to shut all the way down. These last couple of months have definitely been one of them. It’s sad cuz I can understand people that do crazy s*** and the reason behind it. Sometimes it is the easier way out. So what do you do, how do you move on. You try to find a way to some sort of peace, some sort of positivity, something to be thankful for. And hope the day goes by well. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Relocation Part 2

Brooke's Thoughts, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Whew, I’m a long way from leaving home for 4 years, then coming back almost 4 years ago.

As I look back on the knowledge that I have gained through various wonderful and terrible experiences. I can ultimately say I am grateful. Today I am anyway. I had a conversation with my now podcast co-host that I was going to go through a period of depression when I returned home. She asked me, “Why did I think that?’. I responded as I had visually seen the future. 

Sidebar: Be careful what you speak into existence.  

About 2 months later I moved back home. Depression was immediate and tough times became tougher. Honestly speaking, I knew I couldn’t depend on people but I gave them a chance, anyway. This was not just one person, this was many. In the first 3 months, I went from already being homeless to also losing my children and my vehicle, as well. Devastated wasn’t the word, not even depressed, I was defeated. I was waving the white flag, just giving up. My family and friends tried to encourage me as much as they could, however, I felt like I had totally failed at life. I didn’t even want to serve my clients. Many of them wouldn’t take no for an answer. So I straightened up as much as I could and pushed forward. That first year really was a blur. I just tried to make myself happy in all the wrong ways. Through 4 places I stayed and 2 cars I acquired but didn’t have, I was still homeless. The first day I went back to work my transmission went. It took me a year to get that car fixed. 

The second-year was better than the first. I finally got my own place. A month in my own place I realized I was not in a good relationship and needed to get this out of my life. At the same time, in the back of my mind, I was scared to do things on my own and felt like I needed a person, a partner, a friend. I tried to push through unnecessary drama and still carried things on my own, I still felt like I needed him. When in reality, I didn’t. I was taking care of everything because I’m a superwoman. I really hate that, honestly, but I’ve always played that position even during the hardest of times.  It took me too long to get out. I grew during that year though. I grew mentally, physically, and spiritually. 

Through the even tougher times as I struggled to get back to me, I learned a lot. I assessed a lot. I asked myself why are you allowing these things in your life. I finally made up my mind to remove them in the third year. That was even more drama. However, on the other side of that relationship, I renewed my belief in myself. I realized that through all that mess, I looked for someone to save me and the only person I needed to save me was me. Relocating and removing myself from my environment created a different level of resilience that I’m not sure I was capable of before. 

So this year, I’m a superwoman for myself and my children. Year four, I’m dedicated to taking care of myself. I had to embrace that I am a super and will always be my own hero. I will be a superhero, for me!