Today I’m tired

Brooke's Thoughts, Rough Times

I would be lying if I said I’m never tired, I’m never weary.  I’m a super woman. I’m not, I’m a broken woman that has made her bed hard and has to lie in it. I’m a woman that  can’t break because that can be my livelihood. I’m a woman that can’t stop pursuing because there is nothing to fall back on. I’m a woman who many depend on to be joyous and give a good word and place a positive spin on things. I’m a woman that from surface it may seem like I have it all together, but I don’t by far.

They say life is what you make it. However….  How do you make it?  How do you adopt a new family? One that knows you or wants to know you and truly cares about your being. One that wants to know you as much as you want to know them.  How do you continue to love and show love to those that don’t show it back? How do you go into isolation when you live in isolation? The little people you take care of are the only folks you talk to. How do you stop crying yourself to sleep at night? Sorry people this one doesn’t have a happy ending. It’s just words from a woman who has no escape. Her escapes she wants to escape. There is no hibernation or isolation when things go wrong because I live there daily. I haven’t seen most of my family in years. How many? I’ve lost count at this point. What do you do when you just want to love on people? And you really really would like just one of them to love on you back, just one. What do you do? Who do you call? What do you drink? What do you smoke? How do you continue to give when there is almost nothing left? I’ve heard prayer, I’ve heard keep loving and I still believe it will work one day. However, today I’m tired. Very very tired.

Tired of regrouping myself before I answer a call to love on someone who is in need. While I let my tears silent drip down my face. Tired of pulling it all together to go out to an event for a temporary high, fake relief, fake love or a moment of fun. Some go after random sex, well at this point I don’t want to be touched. Sex is something special and should happen between two people that love each other. Not only love each other, but have decided to love each other for eternity and do whatever needs to be done to make it last. What other solutions do we have? Grab a drink, a smoke, all of these things are temporary. Talk to God. Still temporary. Count your blessings. What if the only blessing is that you have only a few more days before everything crashes and burns? That’s what you see anyway. We try to ignore the problems instead of addressing them all while the tumbleweed is still growing.

Life is not always beautiful matter of fact, most of the time it’s ugly. Were advised to take the highs with the lows. However most people surround themselves with others to make it go away. What do you do when there is no temporary relief for you? Not home, not anywhere. Pray, huh. And then what? I want to tell you to continue to work at it and push, however right now I can’t tell myself to push. I’m tired, today I’m tired.

Tomorrow is always another day. 

Don’t Quit

Brooke's Thoughts

Ugh the enemy just keeps pushing. Is this how you feel? Me too!  Pushing on you, pushing on your children, pushing in work, pushing in business, just pushing through your whole life. How annoying and inconvenient the recent events have been in our lives? We feel like we are failing at life, parenting or something else we are consistently working on. I am right there with you, on the ground, fighting the battle along side you. Keep pushing! Are things just so messed up you don’t see an end? Or can’t fathom the solution? You have identified room for a miracle! These are the times when God does his best work. Do you remember the last time things were going this way? How did it end?

Get ready for a celebration! Celebrate through this season as you are coming closer to your victory. For every time you continued to get hit while getting back up, is just showing you that when you finally stand things are going to start  bouncing off of you.  Remember the closer you get, the harder it gets, the more you close into the finish line, the more hurdles begin to come. This is not a sign to stop this is a sign to accelerate. Runners speed up as they get closer to the finish. I recently watched a video of 2 women who thought they had won the race so they slowed down. Yet they hadn’t crossed the finish line. Another woman came from behind them full speed, passed them and won the race. I don’t like to use races as examples, because we are not in competition with each other, we need to support each other. The better your circle is doing the better you will do. However, the moral of this story is to accelerate towards the end. Don’t stop an go another direction. Don’t say not now. Go faster, go harder, push consistently. Get ready to Win!

Spoiled?

Brooke's Thoughts, Matters of the Heart, , , ,

Spoiled….

Having standards is not spoiled!  The independent woman has been demonized in our society. She’s not easy! She’s has goals! She works too much!  OMG!! She has standards! Fellas, don’t leave this one is for you. I’ve seen a few post lately referencing the old school way of dating. Flowers from Walmart and her favorite fast food burger, is enough to make a woman feel loved. Grandiose gestures are welcome, but are not always needed. Women want to be shown you love them. Now not all women are the same and money is not always the way of being shown you love or care for her. However there are different ways of showing women that you care. Time being number one. Ladies love Good Morning text, it shows that you were thinking of her when you woke. Now on the other side of this, they do get annoying so, don’t wear it out. This blog wasn’t to give tips. Its to address women having standards. Do you have a daughter? What are the standards you have tried to implement with her? Would you want your daughter to settle for the way you are treating the woman in your life?

Ladies the men have standards too! I would like you all to ask what is the treatment you desire of your son. We have to learn to be cognizant of others. The standards we set for our own we should be willing to give to the others.

Now, not all peoples standards match. Your standards may be lower or higher than your significant others. In this case it is up to the couple to decide a level of standards that will satisfy both parties. This should be set early in the relationship to avoid any unnecessary misunderstandings. Understanding each other is truly key. I want to challenge you to understand the person you are dealing with deeper. I want to challenge you to understand more of your relationships in general. Having an understanding of where someone is coming from will deepen the connection in unimaginable ways.

So is it Spoiled or Standards?? Understand before you make an assumption.

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Moms are Special

Brooke's Thoughts

For the Moms

Moms, thank you for your unseen sacrifices and your sleepless nights. Thank you for your undying desire to protect your child at all times, even from the bugs you don’t like! Moms thank you for pushing to your goals to create positive examples and then pushing even harder after that goal is reached. Moms thank you for swallowing your pride. Moms thank you for holding your tongue for your baby’s sake. Moms thank you for sacrificing your life to make sure the lives of your children are fulfilled. Moms thank you for remaining sane in insane moments. Moms thank you for not dwelling on not receiving accolades for every moment of the day you sacrifice yourself for someone else. Moms thank you for putting yourselves on the back burner socially, mentally, and sometimes physically, because your child is more important. Moms thank you for your continuous efforts unnoticed and unseen and sometimes taken for granted. Moms thank you for being strong when the word tries to tear you down.

Moms you are super, you are amazing, you wear a special magical cape daily! Rock your cape this weekend and always as you multitask millions of items and still make the job look easy! Moms hope you all enjoy your weekend and stay mighty!!!

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

Another fallen child…

Brooke's Thoughts

 

My friends and family are from many races and I love each one of them. The Black Lives Matter movement is important for my sons. Yes, I agree that all lives matter. In the current state of our country all lives are not devalued, only black lives. Growing up my mom taught my brother and I how to deal with police. Does this same lesson happen in every household? We were told to sit up straight, don’t raise your voice, don’t ask too many questions , if you are being mistreated we can deal with it in court. This lesson is taught in almost every home of color to hope that our children come home at night. Now as a mother I have to teach my sons the same. The last eight years, there have been too many shootings of African American men by police. Technology has made things that have always happened, more visual. At the same time the number has increased.
Yes, our community is upset that our men are being murdered. However, our biggest issue doesn’t lie in whether they are guilty or not, it is how people with skin of color are treated during stops. Why aren’t they being arrested? In many of these situations police weren’t in any altercation. The recent bombing suspects in NY/NJ area had an actual shoot out with the police and were arrested alive. Why are black men being killed instead of arrested? There wasn’t any ‘imminent danger’ in most of these situations, although claimed.
It’s not only enraging, it’s sad and scary, we have no where to run, no where to hide. So yes protest needs to happen, Peaceful protest. Voting needs to happen. People we must vote! Yes I agree there is way more to the political game than voting, however, it is the first step. If we don’t take that first step, we don’t have any other steps to take. In Election 2008 we showed our strength. Let’s show it again! Vote out all who are not about change!
Protesters stay peaceful don’t let the few in the crowd cloud the message. Don’t let anyone change the protest from peaceful to violent. The message must be clear!
For our brothers in blue, be the one that speaks up, change the atmosphere in the police departments. Apparently in the police departments and in quite a number of American households, black people are guilty just because of the color of our skin. In addition, jail is not a harsh enough sentence. Is this the behavior your condoning?
To all people we must come together and unite for peace in our country.

The Cycle

Brooke's Thoughts, ,

We tend to set a criteria of what we desire and then we subconsciously look for just that. We steer ourselves in the direction to obtain those qualities. We find them on our own, they are not good enough, or not at least what we expected. We become saddened by our choice not satisfying our hearts desire. When we follow the path to our goal and become so focused on that goal. The blessing tends to find you, it comes in the most unassuming package. It delights us with that thing that we have been in search of. Human nature kicks in, we want to wallow in delight, instead of continuing to focus on the end goal. Don’t get stuck in the celebration.  We have to remember to keep our eyes on our goal and enjoy the moments along the way. Celebrate the blessing however remain focused. This is only a step in the right direction and not the end point. I want to encourage you as I encourage myself, celebrate the blessing and then use that celebration to continue to propel yourself forward. Much lock in your aspirations.

The Taste

Brooke's Thoughts, ,

The taste!

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You never know what you’re missing until you have had another taste. I’ve been so lost and I got the taste. I found it! It taste like sweet poison. A compliment, a joke, a simple hey, can rejuvenate a human more than most even know. Someone showing you love when no one other than your children truly have in so long.  Someone to put a smile on your face. Time alone is great, however it comes with huge sacrifices. The lack of human validation and consistent human love, builds character and strength.  As hard as it is to let someone into your space, your energy, your time, when you receive that energy it is hard to deny it. It is an ego booster which does boost us mentally, spiritually.

Poison, how does it taste? No the taste is not always poison, but it can become poison. It can distract you, because now you crave another taste. The quick fix wasn’t enough. That is what is great about celibacy once you have reduced the craving it is no longer a thought. Just don’t allow yourself to get a taste before it is time. That taste changes your thinking it reroutes your subconscious. Ladies, I know many of us who are single and 30+ very often crave a  taste. However, is that taste worth it, from the wrong person? What will you sacrifice if the taste is not right?

Mmm….

Brooke's Thoughts, Matters of the Heart, , , , ,

Love, respect and compromise.

Several conversations I’ve had recently prompted this post. Our culture attempts to follow biblical ways of relational pursuits in which a man should pursue a woman. However, it seems this is not what society follows. Many woman are sitting around waiting for a man to step up and approach a relationship by loving us when in reality we may have someone in love with us in close proximity. Trying to show us as we ignore them. As we all grow older, some men may decide maybe I should say something. Why does it take so long for this to happen? Why are more and more men insecure? How have we caused this? Why are we impatient with the process? This evening I watched a video that spoke on love and respect. Women desire to be loved while men desire to be respected. Whoa! I can see my single independent women saying. Respect what? Well, ladies how many women want a man they can’t respect?  I know I sure don’t and I want my sons to see me with someone I can respect. I didn’t remove that we need to be loved and a man should effectively show his woman love. Ladies we must effectively do the same. We have to respect that man in all lights, when he is up, when he is down, when we are happy or mad.  Man desires to be respected and as the leaders of our families and homes, they should.  I was also asked once why do I always have stalkers. Gentleman that just won’t leave me alone, no matter what. These guys are strictly friends and they have been friend zoned. However they find a tax question, they find a financial question, they find ways to send business my way. Why is that? I respected them, no matter how dirty or wrong they were in our past relationship. There was never a need for me to disrespect. One of my sayings, you have to let a man be a man. There are ways to shut people down with out being rude, disrespectful, or hurting feelings. Its just not necessary to me. I know that I tend to have more friends because I don’t believe in hurting even the meanest of folks feelings. Ladies ask, did you tell them about themselves? I reply, for what? People aren’t receptive to conflict. Once a voice raises, words tend to be blocked out. So why waste your breath and energy being in a huff? Is there a right way? Is there a wrong way? No not at all, there is your preference, your choice. If you choose to pursue relationships ladies great, you may truly find what is meant for you. If not, I don’t believe that you won’t find it either. I choose to be a friend and draw firm lines with people that do not have a chance. Do I need to be rude? No. Do I need to block you? No. How can you Love One Another by spreading hate and hurting feelings? I personally feel it is unnecessary and makes no gains, IMO. I may be slightly more annoyed, but life is annoying. We learn to compromise with life.  Why do we have such difficulty compromising in relationships?

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24 hrs…

Brooke's Thoughts

What matters now?

Today my first thoughts were this is only a part of the journey. You will and probably have heard me repeat over and over again, everything happens for a reason and it certainly does. When someone turns their back on you there is a reason. This reason doesn’t always necessarily have to do with you either. We are all struggling with things that the surface cannot see. Our friends and family only know of our struggles if we disclose the issue to them. 

I watched a movie last night that challenged you to do what you would do if you only had 90 minutes to live, Who would you call? Who would you want to spend your time with? So often we take life and time for granted we say that we have time to get back to that but do we? How do you know? You don’t?

This thought caused me to make a decision that too much time has been wasted chasing something or a person. There has to be small triumphs during the challenge. For instance when you play a video game you level up. It takes time to win the game but you have small successes by reaching the next level. Same thing with work as well. You move up from position to position. What do you do when you are not leveling up? Do you restrategize or reinvent your approach? Do we waste more time or move on? I personally, move on. I would tell that person that I loved them one last time, but I wouldn’t want a response. I would even probably block the response, honestly. Not saying that action is right, by far. When you think of not having much time left. What decisions change? Do you chase that person or thing for the last 24 hours or do you send love and move on? If that thing or person you are pursuing, is not gaining any ground, reinvent your approach, try again. If still no success remove it from your life. If something else pops up that must be done, focus on that and don’t let it go. Strive hard and don’t miss your level ups, this is your confirmation your on the right path.  If it is a relationship or friendship that needs to be fixed, try to mend it, however time is not guaranteed. Work on it, now!

YOLO…. that’s the saying right? You Only Live Once…

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What is your status?

Brooke's Thoughts

Many applications, forms, etc. have an area to enter you marital status.Single, married, divorced, widowed.  Single!!!…. tends to be an awesome thing to people tired of their relationship. Single!!!!.. can also be dreary to those who are tired of being single.  What about Single and Parenting?

There are many people men and women that fall into this category. They either make friends with others in the same boat as them or they often feel left out. How you became single and parenting, quite frankly, is no one’s business. People in this category could have landed here from many situations. I along with many others men and women are often judged wherever we are, work, school, church, etc. We date timidly, knowing we don’t want our children interacting with just anyone. We tend to work extra hard because we are avoiding judgement. Who is anyone to judge you or belittle you?

How do we recognize this growing status? Its not going away it has always been around, it is just not hidden anymore. When dating its part of the fine print, “please be aware this man/woman has children that he/she is raising on there own.” Its a disclaimer. Many read the disclaimer when they are considering purchasing a product. Most are expecting negative connotations about this product when they review the disclaimer. Would we all like to be married? Maybe. Would we all like to raise our children with there father? Probably, dependent on the situation. Are we all looking for help? NO! How about a partner, someone to ask how your day was, someone to tell you its going to be okay. Someone to just love and support us.